Letter to my children: The Schism of our Modern Existence

Dearest Beloveds,

We started giving you two an allowance starting about a year ago to motivate table setting, dishwasher emptying, dog feeding, general chores, and collecting of eggs. This past summer the two of you purchased your first tokens of commerce at CVS.

“Really, you want to spend your money on that?”

“Momma, I love it!”

“You have a closet full of stuffies. It is made out of plastic which is poisoning the earth. It came from China on a big ship that pollutes the air and water. It is going to end up in a landfill and poison the earth more as it decomposes. Are you sure?”

And here is where the tension of parenting comes in. 

“Yes. I want it.”

“Okay, it is your money.”

Watching you two choose to spend your money on crap - knowing it is a side effect of this cultural obsession with GDP growth and the marketing juggernaut that supports that supposition. I understand it as I abhor the paradigm. It is also the paradigm of our existence.*

This is the crux of the matter. Every human on this planet is complicit in the degradation of our home simply by living our life. That dichotomy - we know we are destroying oceans with plastic bottles yet I need to fill my anti fungal prescription. Greenhouse gases are changing the weather yet I need a car to buy food. Propane fracking poisons ground water yet people need warm homes. Industrial farming strips the soil of micronutrients yet the world is hungry. Rare metals are exploiting humans and soil yet we all love the convenience of cell phones.

It is impossible to live in this Global North culture without feeling every move has two parts. I walk and bend grass underfoot. I feel soft cool and dampness on my toes of dew. The wind tickles my hair and the birds sing. Yet the clothing on my back and the phone in my pocket ignites a silent bomb that kills fish, depletes the ozone, and poisons water.*

One of the difficulties of being a teenager is realizing that every parent is a hypocrite. How can my parents know about global warming yet cut down trees? How can you care about food miles and yet purchase bananas and avocados? How can you care about working conditions and purchase commodity chocolate?

As I grew older I realized that it is not just my parents, but it is all of us. It is me. I am a hypocrite. I enjoy traveling well yet I decry the inequalities of wealth. I like the taste of Brebis cheese from France yet I know the food miles are egregious. I love having a light on to welcome us home despite the use of electricity.

Which is why watching you two emerge as your own consumers of goods I find confronting - because you are reminding me of my own hypocrisy.

So all of us will move forward in this sticky place - but as Paul Douglas says in his great book, A Kids Guide to Saving the Planet: It is not Hopeless and we are not Helpless.

Amen.

*I had this conversation with Baba about this very thing 35 years ago. 

“Baba, I am scared about our planet. We are poisoning her.”

“Don’t worry, technology will save us.”

Time will tell.